Story Time Children

Gather around children, I'm going to tell you a story about two guys, a girl and a company. Lets say, oh, well the girl is me, the two guys names are DumbFuck and DumbAss, and the company is The Home Depot. Here I am on a nice autumn sunday driving to the Home Depot for painting, i.e. painting old roomies room. While the main paint guy is mixing a gallon Champagne Sparkle for me, I ask DumbFuck and DumbAss about white trim paint, where is it, what kind to use etc. I settle for a small can of basic white in a semi-gloss txture. Well DipShit is on one of those tall orange ladders and finds a can of it, thinking they're hot shit and all, he casually tosses the can to DumbAss, and what does DumbAss do you ask? He fucking drops it on the ground and splashes my favorite Tommy Hilfiger dark blue, boot-cut, blue jeans and my absolutely favorite $100 black Dansko clogs!!!!!! AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH They're stunned, I'm stunned, and when they recover they say, oh we have cleaner for that. Eventually one of them returns with paper towels, I hand him my shoe and of course he smears it. I'm getting really pissed now so I go find one of the store managers, well there aren't any in and I find an Ass. manager. (yea I abbreviated it wrong, but he was an ass!) He tells me it will wash of with water, and I say, Um, I went to art school, paint does not come off of fabric or leather. I scare him off to find the business card of the head honcho in charge. Back in the paint section, DumbFuck and DumbAss have run off and another paint guys offers my a free gallon of my paint for my troubles. I'm thinking that would be fine for right now, and he's like no, it would be payment for my troubles. Ah no, I say, I will be calling the manager in the morning. Look I work retail, and I deal with bitchy people all day, usually there's no reason for their attitude, but when we've dropped the ball on something (no pun intended) we kiss ass to make up for it. So watch out Home Depot, here comes the biggest bitch they'll have ever seen!!