Here comes the wicked bitch...watch out Home Depot! 

Story Time Children

Gather around children, I'm going to tell you a story about two guys, a girl and a company. Lets say, oh, well the girl is me, the two guys names are DumbFuck and DumbAss, and the company is The Home Depot. Here I am on a nice autumn sunday driving to the Home Depot for painting, i.e. painting old roomies room. While the main paint guy is mixing a gallon Champagne Sparkle for me, I ask DumbFuck and DumbAss about white trim paint, where is it, what kind to use etc. I settle for a small can of basic white in a semi-gloss txture. Well DipShit is on one of those tall orange ladders and finds a can of it, thinking they're hot shit and all, he casually tosses the can to DumbAss, and what does DumbAss do you ask? He fucking drops it on the ground and splashes my favorite Tommy Hilfiger dark blue, boot-cut, blue jeans and my absolutely favorite $100 black Dansko clogs!!!!!! AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH They're stunned, I'm stunned, and when they recover they say, oh we have cleaner for that. Eventually one of them returns with paper towels, I hand him my shoe and of course he smears it. I'm getting really pissed now so I go find one of the store managers, well there aren't any in and I find an Ass. manager. (yea I abbreviated it wrong, but he was an ass!) He tells me it will wash of with water, and I say, Um, I went to art school, paint does not come off of fabric or leather. I scare him off to find the business card of the head honcho in charge. Back in the paint section, DumbFuck and DumbAss have run off and another paint guys offers my a free gallon of my paint for my troubles. I'm thinking that would be fine for right now, and he's like no, it would be payment for my troubles. Ah no, I say, I will be calling the manager in the morning. Look I work retail, and I deal with bitchy people all day, usually there's no reason for their attitude, but when we've dropped the ball on something (no pun intended) we kiss ass to make up for it. So watch out Home Depot, here comes the biggest bitch they'll have ever seen!!

Hazards of Gold Glitter

FYI...quick tip to all you wild and wacky people out there...when applying gold glitter hairspray, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you do it outside. I now a lovely fine coating of gold glitter dust all over my bathroom.

Sunday's Entertainment

Hurray for Bollywood! When there's nothing better to watch on Sunday morning tv, you can always count on your friendly local Indian Musicals. I love that at first they look all innocent, pretty girl dances, then pretty boy dances, pretty girl dances in front of not-as-pretty as pretty girl posse', etc...but if you really REALLY look, it's quiet erotic. Alot of pushing pelvis', shaking breasts, whoa, it's burning up in here! So, I finally made some breakfast, err, brunch I guess, english muffin with butter, fresh cantalope, and coffee from my Melitta One-to-One coffee maker with a touch of Saigon Cinnamon and unprocessed cocoa powder. What I really need to do is take a shower, but why? I'm not stinky, I'm going to be painting a old roomies' room, and if i don't use the shower, I can finally buy some caulk to replace the stuff around the tube thats all mildewy and rotting out. (has to be dry to be done) Sounds like a good game plan! Bought some gold hairspray glitter last night, wanted to dye the dog with cool aid, couldn't find any around the house, so I sprayed her down and she glitters like the sun. I love my dog, she so small I can make her do anything! Is it natural for a dog, albeit a small one, to like cantalope?

Midnight Shopping

Mission accomplished. The world's best cookies have been obtained, plus a few other essentials such as, fresh flowers (three bunches for ten, including tulips and roses), fresh spiced apple cider (two apples in every glass!), flour tortillas (screw Atkins), Purdue chicken breasts (only the best for me), 3 bags of half off Halloween candy (Smarties, Necco wafers and Dark Chocolate Mounds)(isn't the idea to buy candy you like so in case there are leftovers?) and hole filler. Ok, Ok, so earlier I asked who in their right mind would be shopping at 10 at night right? Well that question was asked in regards to huge department stores, not grocery stores. Got to love the city life where there are good grocery stores open 24 hours!!!!! Chicago, Chicago.... The hole filler is so I can get a head start on painting the roomies room before I bribe my friend to come over and help me paint. If I eat a bunch of cookies right before we turn back the clocks for daylight savings hour, does it count??????

It's Been a Bad Bad Day

Who in their right mind would be out shopping at 10:00 on Halloween weekend, I had to work because of this stupid possibility when I would rather be out with friends having a drink. (all two of them) The world's a crazy place and I'm along for the ride. Then, when I got home at 11:oo, 1) old roommate did not replace the blinds his cat trash like I told him, 2) he didnt leave any money to pay for my german crystal tumbler that I went shopping with my mother in Germany 20 years ago when I was 8, that his cat broke. (well at least he cleaned the floor right?) But the fucker remembered his vacuum and took it. Should have used it has a hostage I think, too late now! I checked my mail, got a letter from Tif and Co, I applied for a job there over a month ago and finally heard back! God damn fuckers said there wasn't a job opening that matched my qualifications, bullshit, saw the ad myself, it required ever skill that I already do. Damn! Was a long shot anyway. Also got a letter from my auto insurance saying I owed them 800, funny, because back in May I prepaid a whole year, what the??? So in a nutshell its been a bad day. I need to eat something so I can take my meds. That sounds so weird, this is the first time in my life that I've ever had an ongoing perscription for anything, usually I'm healthy as a horse. But its a gory girl thing and I won't go into it, ICK! What I really want are cookies, those yummy cookies they sell at the bakery section in the grocey store with the thick icing and sprinkles that they color match to the holidays and seasons. Apparently they are a favorite of other girls PMSing, heard about it from some Lincoln Park trixies when I was at the ceramic shop painting my gnome. Apparently I'm hip because I knew about them. WEEE I'm hip in Lincoln Park.

Yummy Lofthouse frosted cookie in harvest colors, ummmmmm... 

Grrr, Working on a Saturday, Grrr

Been up for an hour or so, it's so nice to be able to sleep in on a Saturday, unfortunately I still had to set my alarm becasue I have to fucking work today! Made lunch and it was damn good. Homemade pesto over al dente pasta rocks! I mean HOMEMADE! No opening a jar or anything for me. Swallowed it down with a glass of freshly brewed and slighlty sweetened Marsala Chai iced tea, my favorite, no milk added, also homemade. I get in these moods where everything has to be homemade.....don't know why. Watching tv, flipping between the Breeders Cup and Different Strokes reruns. Feel like I have to watch the Breeders Cup, my grandmothers a great handicapper and it gives us something to talk about. My great uncle wrote books on it, and I have a second cousin who is on ESPN sometimes covering the ponies. Don't that sound cool? The reason I woke up ahead of schedule was the wind! I know this is the windy city and all, but damn. Just means I have to be careful driving to work and no speeding. Maybe I'll get lucky and a tree will be blown over and crush my car, without me in it of course. I hate my car, its turned into a piece of shit and I can't afford a new one. I left the window to air out my roommates stinky room. Couldn't find the Lysol, probably buried under a pile of clothes in my room. It's amazing how well the Fabreeze clothes spray work! It did make the floors sticky, but hey, old roommie said he would be coming back to clean anyway. I hope he forgets about his awesome vacuum machine in the coat closet, he never used it anyway, he should leave it!

Ummmm, pest.... 

Yummy Chai 

Need I say anything all? Pretty much speaks for itself. 

Yee Haa. Second day in a row that I remembered to write, off to a good start I think. My roommate moved out today. The fool is a waiter and will be his whole life, but decided without telling me when we signed our lease again that he wants to move to Florida. I think it all stems from his Spring Break visit, probably thinks there will be slutty girls in bikinis everywhere all year. What a little boy. How old are guys when they finally grow up? 30 maybe? Anyway he still has to come back to clean the room which smells like cat piss, take the girlie posters off the wall, and decomtaminate the floor. I think I'll paint the room Champagne Sparkle......Hate my job still, how can one work so hard and be dedicated to a company and then be verbally abused when the bitch boss comes in and questions every little thing I do as if sacrificing my breaks and lunches (which wouldn't make my doctor very happy) wasn't a sign of my hard work. I HATE THAT PLACE. Everyday when I get home from work I check all the best job websites that I have listed in my JOBS favorite folder, and then once you find the perfect one you have to fight your way through I'm sure, hundreds of resumes. It's hard when you know the job is perfect for you, you have all the skills and would kick ass at it. BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Bad picture of me before my hip new glasses and Mona my dog and probably the only unconditional love I will ever have in my life 

So here we go again. Isn't blogging supposed to be thereapeutic or something? I've discovered another side of my best friend be reading her blog. Kind of voyeuristic, like watching Nicole and Tom in Eyes Wide Shut, you want to look, but you know you shouldn't. hehe.